Wednesday, August 20, 2014


So I wanted to talk about something that we, as women and mothers, sometimes may find hard at times.
  1. the ability to do something that frightens one.
    "she called on all her courage to face the ordeal"

For a long time the biggest fear that I had was not being accepted.  Not being accepted by my peers, my family, my friends, even my teachers (in school and in church).  I would do just about anything in order to have people like me and accept me.  When I entered college I realized that my fear was completely holding me back.  I made a goal for myself each day to say no to one persons request.  If it was a request that made me stress or do extra work that would make me put something else on the back burner, I would say no.  I had the courage to start putting myself first.  I realized that after saying no to some things people still liked me and cared about me.  I could put myself first and not be alone.  My courage allowed me to gain a better understanding of love and acceptance as a whole.  This moment of courage in my life, the moment of putting myself above acceptance of others, set me up for many hard and painful moments in the future.

Part of my journey for acceptance and courage came in the form of an unplanned pregnancy.  My freshman year of college I got pregnant, with the most adorable miracle ever.  I knew that the path my life would be leading would be different.  My daughters birth father and I didn't see eye to eye, on just about everything.  We are more different than night and day.  I knew from early on it wouldn't be a functional relationship and I wanted more than that for my baby.  I made an adoption plan and in May of 2007 my little angel came to this earth and 4 days later into her mothers arms.

The courage it took for me, as a new mother turned birth mother, to place my child for adoption have changed my soul.  Shaped me as a person, and written lines on my heart that will forever be there.  I gave my daughter a chance, myself a chance, and her family a chance.  I had the courage to look my fear in the eyes tell it I'm in control and do what needed to be done for my child.  

Every mother has a moment like that.  Maybe it's only one moment and maybe it is many moments.  It could be standing up for your child who may have a learning disability.  Sending your child off to school for the first time, all day.  Making a dietary change for your child that a doctor may not understand but you feel is necessary.  Limiting technology in your home while others around you don't.  Countless things take courage as mother.  

Each day we are faced with moments where our fears, pain, grief, and doubt which may seem more than we can handle.  Each day we must remember that we, as women, have the courage inside of us to do what we feel and know to be best.  Each hour of each day we will choose to have courage for our families, our friends, and our peers.  Each day the courage that we have inside ourselves will turn into courage for the woman and mothers that we love the most.  Each new moment of courage will bring happiness, love, and joy into our lives.


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