I love us!

I say this all the time to my little family. I LOVE US! I love us because I have so much to be grateful for. I love that we can all be together, do silly things, have fun, be an eternal family.

Two years after being married, my husband and I decided to take a leap and go off all forms of birth control. It actually went more like "Hey dude, I don't want to be on this stuff anymore; are you ok with that?" And after talking it out for a while, he decided it was the right thing to do. I spent those first two years, being unbalanced, hormonal, emotional; three things that I had never been before in my life. So when I went off the birth control, it wasn't really a surprise that I felt instantly better. But a few months into "trying" and nothing was happening. We started seeing doctors. I started getting blood tests, and we learned that I had a few problems. I have PCOS and Endometriosis. So we saw more doctors and had more tests and started the road of infertility. 

After five years of infertility, I was exhausted. I was tired of surgeries, blood tests, medication, waiting for hours in doctors offices. I was ready to make a change. We started talking about adoption, and for a while it didn't feel right. There was never that moment of "We need to do this." Until one day, I made a decision to start the process on my own. I was going to start the home study process, until I stopped myself to pray about if this was the right thing to do. I was one word into my silent prayer when I got a huge "WAIT!" I was devastated. I didn't want to wait anymore. Hadn't I been waiting long enough? Well I waited. And it was maybe two months later when I got a call from a friend saying that her sister was pregnant

and was thinking about placing her child for adoption and were we interested. After a quick conversation about it with my husband, we decided to go for it. We sent a quick and dirty letter and photos to our friend. To make a long story short, we were chosen, and only a month later we were holding our little boy and taking him home with us. 

And now three years later, here we are. We have a gorgeous, fun-loving, crazy, friendly, sweet little boy who keeps us stocked up on too-tight hugs, eskimo kisses, and snuggles. I know that our family isn't complete yet, and we are working on it. Hopefully one day soon I will be able to write a post about that. But no matter what happens, I will always love us. I know that I am lucky and blessed. 

But I also know that all of this is and always will be hard work. Keeping a family together and happy and fed and fully dressed takes a lot of work. It is a work that I love doing (ok maybe not the cooking part, but I have an awesome husband who does that.) Adoption takes a lot of work. There are a lot of people who deserve to be a part of our family, and we have worked hard to make that all work, and let's be honest, sometimes it doesn't work that well. I know that I will spend my life working hard for my family, but I also know that there are innumerable blessings because of that hard work. And that is why I love this quote by Harold B. Lee, "The most important work you will ever do, will be within the walls of your own home." 

You can download and print out your own copy of this by clicking on the link below. 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7mb7BBiWHaVdDEwc2w3ZEh6X1U/view?usp=sharing

The Competition

This is a topic that I have been mulling over what feels like my entire life. Women competing with other women.

It seems to me like when we are born, we are thrown into the competition life style. When we are babies, it is which baby is the cutest, which baby crawls the fastest. As elementary age kids the real fun starts; who is the smartest, who is the best at sports, who can make the most friends. Once we get to high school the competition is in full force; who is the most popular, who is the most talented.

As grown women, you would think the competition would slow down. But it doesn't. It turns into who get's married first, who makes the most money, who as the most kids, who has the smartest kids, who is the skinniest, who has the cleanest house, who has the prettiest house, who drives the nicest car. The list goes on and on.

For me this all comes down to that ingrained thought of competition. My question for all of you is, WHY? Why are we competing? Why do we compare our lives, our journeys, our kids?

I was raised with an always unspoken competition going on. I am a middle child and my older siblings are twin girls. Because they are twins and both girls, they were constantly being compared to each other. And then when I came along, another girl, it was easy to join the party. I have a very smart sister who always got good grades, and I have a very caring sister who felt things stronger than the rest of us. Now both of them are very smart and very caring people, but those qualities stood out in each of them. They should have never felt like they needed to compete with each other, but they always did; who went on the most dates, who had the most friends, who had the cutest clothes. It was exhausting for me, and I am sure for them and my parents too.

I have been watching a competition unfold my entire life. I fought against joining in on that competition because, I believe, I saw how damaging it was to everyone involved.

Here's the problem I see. I see us being raised to compete against each other, and in turn, learning that one person is always better than another person in everything. While, yes, that is a part of life, does it need to be the center of it all?

Let's do our best to change this. Instead of focusing on who does more or better in life, let's applaud each other for our successes and help each other when we fall. Love each other and love ourselves. And remember: life is not a race. There are no winner or losers; we are all here to love and support each other the best we can.