I love us!

I say this all the time to my little family. I LOVE US! I love us because I have so much to be grateful for. I love that we can all be together, do silly things, have fun, be an eternal family.

Two years after being married, my husband and I decided to take a leap and go off all forms of birth control. It actually went more like "Hey dude, I don't want to be on this stuff anymore; are you ok with that?" And after talking it out for a while, he decided it was the right thing to do. I spent those first two years, being unbalanced, hormonal, emotional; three things that I had never been before in my life. So when I went off the birth control, it wasn't really a surprise that I felt instantly better. But a few months into "trying" and nothing was happening. We started seeing doctors. I started getting blood tests, and we learned that I had a few problems. I have PCOS and Endometriosis. So we saw more doctors and had more tests and started the road of infertility. 

After five years of infertility, I was exhausted. I was tired of surgeries, blood tests, medication, waiting for hours in doctors offices. I was ready to make a change. We started talking about adoption, and for a while it didn't feel right. There was never that moment of "We need to do this." Until one day, I made a decision to start the process on my own. I was going to start the home study process, until I stopped myself to pray about if this was the right thing to do. I was one word into my silent prayer when I got a huge "WAIT!" I was devastated. I didn't want to wait anymore. Hadn't I been waiting long enough? Well I waited. And it was maybe two months later when I got a call from a friend saying that her sister was pregnant

and was thinking about placing her child for adoption and were we interested. After a quick conversation about it with my husband, we decided to go for it. We sent a quick and dirty letter and photos to our friend. To make a long story short, we were chosen, and only a month later we were holding our little boy and taking him home with us. 

And now three years later, here we are. We have a gorgeous, fun-loving, crazy, friendly, sweet little boy who keeps us stocked up on too-tight hugs, eskimo kisses, and snuggles. I know that our family isn't complete yet, and we are working on it. Hopefully one day soon I will be able to write a post about that. But no matter what happens, I will always love us. I know that I am lucky and blessed. 

But I also know that all of this is and always will be hard work. Keeping a family together and happy and fed and fully dressed takes a lot of work. It is a work that I love doing (ok maybe not the cooking part, but I have an awesome husband who does that.) Adoption takes a lot of work. There are a lot of people who deserve to be a part of our family, and we have worked hard to make that all work, and let's be honest, sometimes it doesn't work that well. I know that I will spend my life working hard for my family, but I also know that there are innumerable blessings because of that hard work. And that is why I love this quote by Harold B. Lee, "The most important work you will ever do, will be within the walls of your own home." 

You can download and print out your own copy of this by clicking on the link below. 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7mb7BBiWHaVdDEwc2w3ZEh6X1U/view?usp=sharing

My Life's Work

Who knew a date to the symphony during my junior year of high school would lead to such a beautiful life.  After 20 years of marriage, 4 children, and a whole lot of ups and downs, Ryan and I might just be starting to figure things out. 

When I started having children, I was very fortunate to be able to stay home with them.  While that hasn't always been easy for me (I have a working girl's brain) it was something I always envisioned myself doing when children came into our lives.  As a mom, I have been far from perfect.  I'm the first to admit that.  I'm not a master chef or baker.  I don't have all my scrapbooks up to date.  In fact, my youngest doesn't even have a baby book.  And, I've always regretted I didn't read to my kids more (It hurt my voice / throat after a few pages).  

But, there were a few areas that were priorities to me.  Over the years I've tried to make a consistent effort to be present for my children and yet, give them space and independence to grow.  I've tried to teach important values and spiritual truths through casual conversation, interactions, and by example.  I've tried to be a model for service, philanthropy, and learning how to manage responsibility.  And because we focus on balance, we've also tried to have a good measure of downtime and fun.   

Now, let me introduce you to my life's work.

Alexis (16), aka Lexie, is our oldest daughter.  She is a beautiful soul inside and out.  She is grounded, spiritual, a talented dancer, a photographer, a fashion guru, and has an artistic eye for anything creative or beautiful.  However she can't throw tumbling tricks to save her life.  Believe me, I've paid for 4 years of tumbling and she still can't throw a back hand spring.  But, when you're good at everything else and breathtakingly beautiful, you have to have at least one flaw.  Oh, and did I mention she is self confident and funny. She too thinks her tumbling skills are humorous.

Jackson is now 14.  When I look back at all he and I have been through, I think we've lived through enough for two life times.  Jackson has a rare chromosome duplication (7q11.23 duplication), currently less than one of 500 in the world.  The duplication mirrors autism.  Since his birth, we've been involved with specialists, medications, therapies, and have traveled near and far for treatment.  Jackson has intense struggles in building relationships, regulating emotions, and verbalizing feelings.  He also is trying to manage ADHD, anxiety, and Oppositional Defiance Disorder.  While Jackson's world is full of challenges he also excels at organizing his room, keeping track of dates and family memories, he connects to music and the latest hit on the radio, he enjoys the beach and building in the sand, camping, exploring in the woods surrounding our home, and those silly ghost hunting type shows.  Jackson is a key member of our family because we all have a chance to serve him and help him achieve successes in this life.  And in return, we have an appreciation for the simple pleasures of life that a family can enjoy.  Our hearts melt every time we have positive interactions and happy moments with Jackson. 





Collin is 11 and enjoying 5th grade.  He is the unassuming, handsome type.  While he may present himself to the world as shy and more reserved, he has a wicked ability to tease and take in everything around him.  Collin loves basketball and just started playing with a competition team.  He also enjoys hip hop, playing with his Kendama (Japanese toy that has a string, wood post, and ball), the game - Magic, and Dr. Who.  Because of birth order, Collin has endured much in his short life.  Even though he is younger, he's been an advocate and care taker for Jackson and has had to learn to acquiesce more than he should in order for Jackson to maintain a sense of calm.  We love Collin and his giving spirit.  He is a pillar of strength and a source of much joy.

Isabella, aka Izzy, just turned 8 and was baptized into our church this year.  Izzy has a tender heart and is a very spiritual young soul.  She is thoughtful, giving, artistic, a great piano player, spunky, funny, and adores her cat, Mrs. Fox.  She started dancing with a competition dance team this year and loves every minute; especially Hip Hop.  Izzy is in a French Immersion program in school.  She can always get us laughing with made up words in a french accent.  We are so happy this ray of sunshine is in our family.  Her bright light often lifts our spirits and adds warmth to our sometimes stressed out household.

So, that's us.  We're pretty down to earth and for the most part, a typical family.  The extra DNA that is a part of our family keeps things real.  While our challenges can be overwhelming at times, we know they are helping to make us stronger, more compassionate, and more unified.  We're all in this together and know that we all want to be together as a family forever.

May there be no empty chairs in heaven!!!

My Little Family

I love my little family!  They are my everything.  I'll introduce you to them and I know that you'll love them too. 

I've been married to my husband, Mr. McHot Nerd, for over 10 years now.  He proposed to me in my favorite Chinese restaurant  The food was amazing but it was so loud that when he popped the question I couldn't hear him.  I leaned over to him and said "what did you say?".  Luckily he wrote me a 3 page love letter to make up for the non-romantic setting.  At the bottom of the letter it said

PS- will you marry me?

Circle one: yes or yes

We sure know how to push each others buttons but I still love my Mr. McHot Nerd and the sweet, funny, gentle man that he is.  (His pet name for me is Nerdette, we are so corny!)

We have 4 boys, still hoping to one day add a little princess but until then I'm loving all of the sports games, Legos, wrestling, Star Wars and monster trucks in our home.

Photo Credit: Sharon Crown Photography

Bobby is our oldest.  He would have turned 9 in August.  He was born with a rare heart defect and only lived for 11 days.  He lived his entire life at Primary Children's Medical Center and was never able to come home.  We saw many miracles in those 11 days, one of my favorite miracles was being able to hold him for 2 minute while he was alive.  Due to his condition, we could only hold his hands or touch his feet at PCMC.  But luckily before life flight came to take him into surgery, I was able to hold him in my arms and kiss him with out any wires or tubes being attached to him.  I will always have a special place in heart for Bobby because he made me a mother.

Ted is our second little boy and he would be turning 8 next month.  (Bobby and Ted were 15 months apart.) He was also born with a rare heart defect but he also had bowel problems that required a colostomy bag.  Even with all of his health issues he was such a happy little guy.  You could always find him smiling, laughing and just being so content with life.  He loved cell phones, remote controls and his daddy.  We had 9 1/2 beautiful months with Ted; he was then called home to heaven to be reunited with his older brother.  I find so much peace knowing that my 2 angels are together and watching over our family.

Photo Credit: Sharon Crown Photogarphy

Liam came to us through the wonderful miracle of adoption.  He was placed in our arms at 4 days old.  He is now 6 yrs old.  You can often find him telling knock-knock jokes, playing football or baseball, watching BYU sports or snuggling with family members.  He loves music and has been playing the violin for over a year now.  He's my big helper and is always asking if he can help me chop veggies for dinner.  Liam brought so much peace and comfort to a heart broken mommy.  His birthmom is an angel and we are so grateful to her for her love and sacrifice.

Stanley is our baby and so full of life!  He also came to us through the blessing of adoption.  He is 3 yrs old and is always coming up with the best phrases.  One of the best was when he told my mom that she should be the "wicked witch of the west" for Halloween.  He followed up with "But make sure yous have a gween face alwight".  Stanley is all boy and loves every sport that has a ball.  His favorite thing to do is catch butterflies or any kind of bug.  We have an open adoption with his birthmom (she is awesome!) and love that he will always have a relationship with her. 

We like to say that we have 2 angels and 2 miracles.  Our children have brought so much love and happiness with a lot of stress and craziness.  Wouldn't trade any of it!



Family

In our house we have one rule: 

Family First.  

That sometimes means we do things we don't really enjoy.  It means that sometimes we go out of our way to make sure the other people in our family are happy and have all the love they feel they need.  We didn't always have this rule, it's just been in the last 5 months or so.  We got to a point in our lives that everything else was coming before family.  We weren't even eating dinner as a family.  We were being pulled in so many different directions that our family was falling apart.  Over the last 5 months we have dealt with some pretty life changing circumstances in our marriage and with the health and well being of one of our children.  Sometimes those moments force us to realize what we were doing, wasn't working.

Because the commonality that each author of the blog shares is that we are mothers I thought it was fitting to introduce not only ourselves to you but also our children.  Between the 13 contributors on this blog we have 37 children and 11 grandchildren.  It's amazing isn't it.  With that many children odds are that we have dealt with or experienced a great number of "learning opportunities".  That's what we are going to call those moments where you sit in bed at night and think, "Really, this is really happening."  I've had my fair share and I know I'm not alone.

As I prepared to write about what family means to me one thing kept coming to mind and it's the quote from Michael J Fox.  It's something that has stuck in my mind for the last few weeks and I just had it printed to put in my bedroom and in our kitchen.  I would encourage each of you to do the same.

Download this print from Sweet Rose Studio

I was raised as the only daughter who had 3 older brothers.  Life with 3 brothers was rough at times.  I got to be the test dummy, the butt of all jokes, and I got teased all the time.  However I always knew that I was loved.  I always knew that my brothers would defend me to anyone.  I was proved that time and time again.  

Photo Credit: Lindsay Jane Studios

As I've gotten older I have days where I hate being the only sister.  I have 3 amazing sister-in-laws but some days it's just not the same as sisters you grew up with.  I wouldn't change my family for anything in the world.  We are each very different and unique and my mother was given a run for her money that's for sure.  I've heard from her, many times, "I did that wrong, so please learn from me."  I know that our families have the ability to mold, shape, and  create us into the people that we are.  I'm excited for each of us to share our families with each of you.