There are days where the only thing I want to see is the
smiles of my children and to know that they are truly happy, even if the only
thing that they want is chicken nuggets in the shape of a dinosaur. I’m sure that these moments will not be
orchestrated with perfect timing to happen all at once, but I will take them
when they come.
Jayden
When Jayden was born in September of 2006 I was barely
27. I was living with my parents and
working full-time when I brought him home from the hospital. His biological father and I co-parented but
a majority of the responsibility fell onto me.
Motherhood was new to me and was quite hard at times.
Having a simple smile from my half-Peruvian, brown-eyed boy
melted my heart every time and there was nothing I would not do for him. We relied on each other for much of our
needs. He is a Mama’s boy and we have a
strong and unique bond that has lasted for eight years now.
Jayden is a 2nd grader and loves to read books
about science facts and wants to be a ‘Scientist of the Universe’ as he puts it. He is fascinated with nature and how mechanical
things work. I’m glad that the spark of
curiosity is there and I’m more than willing to feed it.
Ribs, sausage, bacon, steak, and chicken hearts are a few of
the things that satisfy his appetite as a carnivore. My belief is that his Peruvian heritage has
shaped this boy’s pallet. Nothing wrong with that, just hope to be able to get
a vegetable in there somewhere.
Eli
My second child is Eli and he surely has a unique and
special story, so I will try to make this as short as possible, so please bear
with me. In September of 2008, right
after Jayden turned 2, I married John.
After two months of escalating verbal, physical, and sexual abuse I was
able to leave this man with Jayden in tow and another child on the way. With a protective order in place the harassment
continued another 4 to 5 months, I knew that this unborn child needed to be
protected from his biological father.
In June of 2009, I placed Eli into the arms of his adoptive
parents. This was the hardest decision I
have ever made in my life, but it was the right choice for all involved. We have a semi-open adoption which includes emails
with pictures and two visits a year, which happen around his birthday and
Christmas.
Having raised Jayden then placing Eli was especially
difficult because I knew what I was missing.
I knew that I’d never hold him again as mine. He has my red hair, freckles, and baby blue
eyes, so seeing him grow up through pictures and occasional visits was
heartbreaking. I still have my moments
of grief, but I know that he is happy and loved; it doesn’t make the pain go
away, but it makes it more bearable.
Tyson
When Tony and I married in May of 2011, I became the
step-mother of Tyson. He was just shy of 3 years-old at the time and is now
6. He was named Tyson because being
born at 29 weeks gestation he literally fought for his life. After four brain surgeries for Hydrocephalus,
three months in Primary Children’s Medical Center, two worried parents, and one
surgery to remove half of his colon he was finally able to come home. Whew!
Tyson is loud and loves to be heard and acknowledged. He is a slow eater because he likes to talk,
move around, announce his bodily functions, and negotiate how much to eat. He loves sugar, juice, sugar, candy,
chocolate, sugar, and cookies…..did I mention SUGAR?
Being a premie also delayed his social skills and learning
abilities, which is why he is attending Kindergarten for a second school
year. Completing homework is now much
easier now that he wants to learn and focus more.
Tyson is a great brother and loves to have someone to play
with. Jayden and Tyson are growing up
and trying to find a good balance of sibling rivalry and their own individuality. I love it when they can play great together
and laugh, it sure makes my heart happy.
The Bun in the Oven
After I had Eli, my body started having several health
concerns, especially in the reproductive arena. I began to have several large ovarian cysts
that had to be removed with surgery, and eventually one of my ovaries was
removed. During one of these surgeries I
was diagnosed with Endometriosis. So
the thought of more children didn’t seem possible, so Tony and I became used to
the idea that we were done having children, but God had a different plan in
mind for us. Just after a year of being
married, we had the prompting that there was another one waiting for us.
For two years we worked with my doctor and tried many
different methods, hormone balancing acts, and procedures that the vision of
conceiving was growing dimmer. Finally
in August we found out that we were pregnant.
Such an amazing feeling of excitement, relief, and joy! I am currently
15 weeks pregnant and couldn’t be more exhausted! Just ask my husband. We are due at the beginning of April and we
are crossing our fingers for a little girl.
With each child in my life that calls me mom, or birth mom,
I find that the most sacred and intimate times I share, or have shared, with
them are snuggle times. These are the
moments that I cherish and look forward to having more of, even when they’re 12
and need a hug. This is what being a
mother is all about, nothing but me and this child making eye contact and
smiling at each other, sometimes giggling and making funny faces. From our example as a mother, these moments
teach our children to love one another. There
is nothing more important than love.
Once a child knows and understands that, they can do anything.
