Tuesday, September 16, 2014

The Competition

This is a topic that I have been mulling over what feels like my entire life. Women competing with other women.

It seems to me like when we are born, we are thrown into the competition life style. When we are babies, it is which baby is the cutest, which baby crawls the fastest. As elementary age kids the real fun starts; who is the smartest, who is the best at sports, who can make the most friends. Once we get to high school the competition is in full force; who is the most popular, who is the most talented.

As grown women, you would think the competition would slow down. But it doesn't. It turns into who get's married first, who makes the most money, who as the most kids, who has the smartest kids, who is the skinniest, who has the cleanest house, who has the prettiest house, who drives the nicest car. The list goes on and on.

For me this all comes down to that ingrained thought of competition. My question for all of you is, WHY? Why are we competing? Why do we compare our lives, our journeys, our kids?

I was raised with an always unspoken competition going on. I am a middle child and my older siblings are twin girls. Because they are twins and both girls, they were constantly being compared to each other. And then when I came along, another girl, it was easy to join the party. I have a very smart sister who always got good grades, and I have a very caring sister who felt things stronger than the rest of us. Now both of them are very smart and very caring people, but those qualities stood out in each of them. They should have never felt like they needed to compete with each other, but they always did; who went on the most dates, who had the most friends, who had the cutest clothes. It was exhausting for me, and I am sure for them and my parents too.

I have been watching a competition unfold my entire life. I fought against joining in on that competition because, I believe, I saw how damaging it was to everyone involved.

Here's the problem I see. I see us being raised to compete against each other, and in turn, learning that one person is always better than another person in everything. While, yes, that is a part of life, does it need to be the center of it all?

Let's do our best to change this. Instead of focusing on who does more or better in life, let's applaud each other for our successes and help each other when we fall. Love each other and love ourselves. And remember: life is not a race. There are no winner or losers; we are all here to love and support each other the best we can.


  1. Amen, sista! Thanks for the great reminder. I mean.. .how come we think its a competition when we are all on a different running trail? Different lengths, terrain, and obstacles. ;)

  2. Thanks Martina, my thoughts exactly!