Feeling Naked

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About 8 years ago I felt like I needed to start openly talking about my experiences as a birthmom (I placed a son for adoption almost 20 years ago).  I started by volunteering at a local adoption agency and participating in their support groups for other pregnant young women considering adoption and other birthmoms (this is right when I met Katelyn).  Shortly after volunteering I began speaking and sharing my experience to audiences all over Utah and Wyoming and at adoption conferences.  

At the beginning whenever I would share my life experiences (because they included so much more than just adoption) I would need to recover for about 3 days.  Numerous emotions would surface and I would doubt the reasons I shared them.  It wasn't fun to talk about my struggles and pains.  

So one night after returning home from a speaking engagement, I started to cry... and cry... and cry.  I looked up and cried to God.  

"Why do I have to share these hard things?  They hurt and I don't want to anymore".  

I felt like I was waving my dirty laundry for the whole world to see.  I felt exposed.  I felt naked on the inside.... and it was very uncomfortable.

The answer I received next was surprisingly to say the least.  In my mind, I heard the words "This experience is no longer yours".  

My mind opened in wonderment.  If the experiences were no longer mine and almost didn't belong to me anymore, then WHO are they for?  

This is the moment I understood that once I have experienced challenges and pains of many kinds then it is almost my responsibility to share them (when prompted to do so) with others who might need it now.  

I strongly believe we are all connected and we can help a lot of people by sharing the lessons we learn or simply to help comfort when only we can (because we've gone through something similar).  

A while ago I studied the word Courage and the Latin root it comes from. . 

The first part comes from Cor or Cordis which means:

Cor/Cordis 

noun

• Definitions:
• 1. heart
• 2. intellect/judgment
• 3. mind/soul/spirit
• 4. souls/persons (pl.)

• Source
• 
  

The last part of the word comes from the latin suffix "age" which means "the act, the result of, or state of".  

Quite literally COURAGE means the act of sharing your heart, intellect, judgment, mind, soul, spirit and soul.  

When you are sharing your personal experiences you are showing great courage and strength.  You may have an occasional negative reaction from someone... but I say ignore them.  Because MORE often than not you will get waves of people thanking you for your vulnerability and authenticity.  This is the place we serve from.  

Sharing your life, your experiences, and challenges also bring a feeling of freedom.  It liberates you from the opinions of others.

It reminds me of a quote I heard once "What other people think of me is none of my business".  So true.

We all have pain.
We have all made mistakes.
We all struggle at times.
We all hurt.
And it all is a little more bearable with people to share in that journey.  Please be open to sharing more, mourn with those that mourn, and comfort those who need comfort.

One of the things I love most about the purpose of this website is to provide a place where we can all openly share our challenges and difficulties and then be a support to others who are struggling with something similar. We are ALL ONE in purpose and are lionesses at the gate of our homes. 

We Rise By Lifting Others

Have you ever had one of “those” days, where no matter what you do there seems to be a negative force pulling against you? One of those days where the laundry keeps multiplying, the little ones keep fighting, the house just can’t seem to stay clean, the toilet has overflowed again, you’ve burnt the macaroni and cheese because the phone rang at the wrong time, the dog just ran through the house after taking a mud bath, an extra bill came in the mail that your budget didn’t plan for, the car breaks down and need to be fixed, you’re husband is working late and you just need a little peace and quiet! You know. . .one of “those” days.

We all have them. They come in many forms but they are there none the less. It’s on days like this that I am truly grateful for small random acts of kindness:

• The extra help in the grocery store when you’re kids are screaming, you’re at the check out line, you can’t find your debit card and the women behind you pays for your groceries.
• A note sent by a neighbor thanking you always waving as you drive by. 
• The loaf of homemade bread that a friend drops by just to say “I’m thinking of you”
• Giving someone who is homeless a granola bar and bottle of water because you have extra
• When a friend calls and says “Let me babysit your children tonight” so you can have a much needed date night with your spouse.
• Paying a compliment to another mom because you know how difficult being a mom can be sometimes.

We all need those ‘gifts’, those random acts of kindness that truly remind us that we are not alone. We are all moms in the trenches of life trying to raise children in this ever changing world. We need to step up to the plate, so to speak, and remember to pay it forward.

I love the end of that quote “...you get what you give so give good.” The grammar might not be perfect but the message is. We need to give. We need to help. We need each other because it is only by lifting others that we can truly rise.


There are so many ways that we can pay it forward. Here are a few examples:

If you are unsure of where to start, here is a situation near and dear to my heart. I have a very good friend that is in need of these acts of service. She and her husband are in the mist a tremendous trial. They are an adoptive family that is in the midst of a 3+ year contested adoption. They are still waiting for a verdict from the supreme court to see if they can officially adopt their baby. He is now 3 years old and has been with them since birth. You can imagine the emotional and financial stress that accompanies 3 years of lawyer and court fees. If you are able, please help them out and pay it forward. Anything from $1-$500 will help this beautiful family.

Visit: www.abbafund.org/teamspray/ to donate.

Let’s make someones day a little better! Let’s join forces and buoy each other up in our times of need.

-Roué Anne